It’s not bad to have goals, hopes and desires, but if you have unrealistic expectations and become impatient, flustered, annoyed or angry…then you can improve how your frame things.
Here are 3 main categories of expectations that can be potentially harmful
- Do you expect people to conform to what you want them to? – We often believe that people “should” or “ought to” act a certain way. Even if you do feel like you know what is “right”, that doesn’t help the situation. Instead, focus on your words and behaviors and try to learn from how others act in a certain situation, instead of letting it bother you.
- Do you expect to be able to do something quicker or better right away? – We believe that we should be able to master a new skill immediately. Remember, that anything that challenges you, is good for you. Focus on enjoying the process.
- Do you expect your environment to conform to your expectations? – For some reason we all expect not to have to wait for anything anymore and then get pissed because of lines, traffic, hold-ups, etc. Remember, more often than not you can’t control anything about your environment (unless you’re in a padded room all day by yourself). Focus on what you can control and expect that the environment will always be varied.
Often in life, we don’t get our first choice, or things might not happen exactly as we want them to (or as quickly as we’d like them to). You’ll find that you can enjoy yourself more when you stay calm and patient, and when you don’t get let your expectations get the best of you.