Do you really wish that something would have turned out differently? Do you keep replaying in your mind what you wanted to happen? Are you bummed out because something didn’t unfold how you wanted it to? Sure, not getting what you want sucks, and realize that you can get pissed off, but you don’t want to STAY pissed off.
Instead of having tons of regrets, beating yourself up, getting negative or staying stuck on the past, try this process.
1. Feel and share your emotions. Be angry, upset, hurt, or frustrated. Lean on someone, talk about your feelings and get it off your chest. You can’t get past it, until you work through it. If you’re in a competition (or a pressure situation) you might have limited time to do this (read more here).
2. Figure out what exactly didn’t work out how you imagined it would.
Was it something you could control?
If so, what did you learn for the future?
If not, how can you improve your thoughts, responses and behaviors?
3. Accept it for what it is. You are now in a new situation, and you have plenty of simple things to be grateful for. Realize that you can be smarter, more adaptable/flexible, and resilient because of your experiences.
4. Focus on the now. What can you do and what can you think about to have an impactful, flourishing and positive attitude? Each time you catch yourself getting down about the past, bring your thoughts back to the present and what you can control going forward.