This Common Pattern is Not Helping You


Typically, if we disagree with something, or we don’t immediately feel drawn to it then we write it off.

Like, if there is one aspect we don’t like, we will say the whole thing is “stupid”. That’s why a lot of people think CrossFit is ridiculous after seeing one video. Or that a certain way of eating is outrageous once they hear about it. We are quick to judge that someone’s beliefs are all wrong and messed up.

This can happen as you’re scanning the internet, looking at programming, or watching tv.

If one person rubs us the wrong way, they are instantly an “idiot”

If we are listening to a speaker, or reading a book, and we don’t agree with one little perspective…we start to shut down.

How often do you do you write things off too early, or make a judgement call too quickly?

I bet way more often than you’d like to admit. Or, maybe I’m the only one who recognizes that this is a very easy pattern to get into. Over the last few years, I’ve been trying to change the habit of “confirmation bias” (what it’s called in the psych field), and I’m doing a better job.

Tips & Suggestions

  • Each time you go into a new situation or conversation, you can remind yourself to stay open to learning at least one thing no matter what your hesitations are. Most of the time, you’ll be able to learn about yourself, or even able to gain more perspective or patience.
  • Each time you’re reading, or listening to someone, aim to sift through whatever is unsettling to you, or not helpful to you. Sift through, until you can find one line, one word, or one idea that DOES matter and has meaning.
  • Make a goal to find something that resonates with you or challenges you think differently. You may even have the goal to improve your patience and perseverance when you want to just walk away, or stop.

Constantly challenge yourself to find EVEN ONE THING that could HELP you, that you CAN take away from it.

The other day, I read something I disagreed with, then shut the book. I thought it was stupid and I didn’t like it. I recognized that wasn’t a very helpful approach, and re-opened it and challenged myself to find a line that was worthy. I underlined an incredible line, wrote it in my journal, and was inspired by it.

You can take away a lesson or a valuable piece of information from anyone, anything, anywhere, anytime. Life is much better when we do that, instead of closing off opportunities to learn because something doesn’t immediately sit right with us.


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