Ask Coach: How Do I Deal With That Person Who Annoys Me


Occasionally I will post frequently asked questions and my quick answers. These posts will be tagged “ask coach”, so you can find them easily.

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Question: I regularly have to interact with someone who annoys the hell out of me. How can I deal with this so it doesn’t get the best of me and ruin my workout, or my day?

Quick Answer: Believe it or not, I get this one a lot (from athletes and from individuals outside of the gym). We all interact with people who rub us the wrong way, or do things differently than we do. Some individuals can really get under your skin, if you let them. Ask yourself if “being annoyed” is helping you, or keeping you from being your best.

Here are 3 tips to help you deal with “annoying people”

1. First off, reframe what you call those individuals, and how you’re referencing them. Instead of saying “that annoying guy in the box”, you can say “that person who I choose to get annoyed by”. Now, I realize you probably would never say that, but in your own head, that’s what you can be thinking. You are deciding how you view those people, and if you choose to let them bother you.

2. Learn “what not to do”. If someone does something that bothers you, then you can practice doing the exact opposite. If someone talks a certain way, or acts in a way that pisses you off, or gets under your skin then think about exactly what that habit is. Your goal is to do and say the opposite of that habit, in an attempt to realize that you’re just different and that people do things differently. You can choose to go about your life in a way that is opposite of what typically annoys you.

3. Use your interactions as a chance to build patience and control. When you sense yourself getting annoyed, stop and instead view those individuals as personal challenges to see if you can stay calm and cool. Think of them as reminders to be patient and loving, even when it’s tough.  See how calm and “unbothered” you can be by keeping your body language relaxed and limiting any tension you feel or any negative thoughts you have. Instead of letting them control your mood, you control it. Therefore, that “annoying person” is actually helping you better yourself and you can learn to be thankful for it…weird right?

I’m not trying to say that you’re never going to get irritated by anyone. But, if you realize that feeling annoyed isn’t helping you perform better, or be productive, then, you might want to learn how to think differently. Try out the tips and let me know which ones work for you.

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