Life would be so much easier if we all just told each other how we felt. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. If you have a miscommunication with someone, or someone does something that you don’t like, how do you react? Do you make the situation even worse because of how you choose to deal with it?
Most of the time when people get upset because of something that someone else did or said, they do 1 of 2 things
1. Go silent. Do you get upset, and instead of talking about it, you just become quiet, walk away or completely shut down?
2. Snap. Have you ever been upset and said something hurtful that you really didn’t mean, or have you turned angry and yelled?
Guess what? Neither of those reactions help to ease the situation or move the relationship forward. If you want to improve your relationships and communication skills, you’ll want to try responding differently than how most people do.
Try this instead
- Express what hurt you or made you feel upset and why. Simply state what made you feel upset, and how you didn’t like how that felt. There’s no need to point fingers, but instead, be open and even vulnerable about your feelings. Then, talk about how you can both act differently in the future (so that something similar doesn’t keep happening) and make it a team effort by collaborating.