The Difference Between Bitching & Sharing Your Struggles


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It’s imperative that you learn how to communicate whatever it is that you’re feeling angry, sad, frustrated or anxious about. If you’re not exactly sure what’s bothering you, you can talk it out and brainstorm to figure it out. This process helps you become more aware and less stressed. You’ll be better at managing your emotions and navigating them so that you can hit your goals.

I know people who don’t want to seem like they are complaining, so they don’t ever say what’s really on their mind because they don’t want to sound “negative,” but, that’s not such a great idea.

I know others who almost always have something to bitch about, yet they never really seem to be working to solve anything, and that’s not such a great tendency either.

Sharing your struggles is one of the most cathartic things you can do. Complaining, on the other hand, is one of the most detrimental and unhealthy habits out there. There’s a big difference between the two, don’t ya think?

 

Complaining Versus Sharing Your Struggles

Complaining – a pattern of talking with anyone at all about how bad things are, what you wish was different, who you don’t agree with, why something is so hard, how much it sucks, and how uncomfortable you are.

When complaining you’re often…

– talking about these things more frequently than talking about blessings, gifts, passions, purpose, fun, adventure, likes, loved ones or how awesome things are.

– doing more of the talking about what’s wrong, then listening to or engaging with others.

– wishing something was different, but not particularly willing to make a change or hear how you could do or see something differently

– using a particular whiny tone of voice.

After complaining, you’ll often continue to wallow and feel bothered…which can create a very unhealthy cycle.

 

Sharing your struggles – an intentional discussion with someone who cares about you (that you might even have to be encouraged to do because it doesn’t feel comfortable) about what’s challenging you, what your fears are anxieties are, why you’re struggling with a particular situation or person, what your unhealthy habits are, or how you’re really feeling about the problem.

When sharing your struggles you’re often…

– receptive to encouragement and support. You’re open to the idea of doing or seeing something differently.

– being intentional and therefore you do it in selective situations, with particular individuals with a purpose.

– using a more regular tone of voice, and even speaking more slowly or methodically as to express something that’s real to you.

After sharing, you begin to move forward and feel lighter and free…which is a healthy practice.

 

Those are some of the major differences between the two, in my opinion of course. Here are some follow-up questions for you.

How is your mood different when you’re venting versus complaining? Your tone, your body language your facial expressions?  What do you think the biggest difference is? Which do you do more often?

Can you do a better job of making sure you’re NOT frequently complaining, but you ARE regularly sharing your struggles?

Comment below.

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2 thoughts on “The Difference Between Bitching & Sharing Your Struggles

  • Lori Geurin

    For me, after venting my mood is more positive and hopeful, and I can move forward with a clear conscience. But, after complaining I tend to feel negative, grouchy and have trouble letting things go.

    I’d always been one of those people who felt guilty saying what was really on my mind because I didn’t want to bring anyone down. But, facing a chronic illness the past several years has caused me to rethink this. I realized I was essentially lying to myself about my true thoughts and feelings, and like you said, this isn’t healthy.

    I think there’s a way we can share our difficulties with loved ones and give and receive care and respect through the process. It has taken a certain maturing in me to get to this point, but it’s definitely better than keeping negative thoughts and feelings inside. I’m definitely a work in progress, but I think sharing your struggles honestly with those you’re closest to is so healing.

    Great post! It really made me think. 🙂